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One of the issues is that you tend to generalise about people. Forgive me if I am wrong, but this is what I have gathered from many of your posts. I understand that you have personal experiences and your friends have personal experiences and even you read here about personal experiences but can you safely make your own generalisations because of that? In my opinion, judgement should be done on a case to case basis. Cause maybe there are flashy guys who can talk nicely but also treat you in a nice and respectful manner. And there are also nerdy guys who may treat you like trash. Just think that some guys who most people who considered "sensitive, shy and nerdy" took a riffle and massacred schools.
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Trust comes with time, but you first give someone a chance. With someone you hardly know it is best if you get to know face to face, spend time together, see how he treats you, repects you, doesnt disappear for days and days and comes back with lame excuses. The right guy for you will want to help you building trust towards him by doing the right things, not cutting corners. If you meet someone like this, you will feel he is right because with his words and gestures he will make sure you are not being left with questions. If you know someone and you think you trust but with his attitude he is leaving a lot of questions unanswered then you probably feel deep inside you that something is not adding up. Do I make any sense?
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"This puts me in a conundrum because I have to distrust everyone, and by being that way, it causes me to lose out on a good and genuine soul who isn't a deceptive, scumbag son of a bitch." You already know that distrusting everyone is wrong.
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4/26/2018 3:41 am |
I've got no answers, because your "art guy" sounds a lot like me. Except for the "use her and lose her" bit. That's what makes this whole thing so damn frustrating: you can't come up with a set of rules that will make it easier to weed out the self-centered assclowns. This random anonymous guy on the internet is sorry that you've had to deal with such a crappy experience. There really is nothing you can do except dust yourself off and soldier on.
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4/26/2018 6:47 pm |
I am more nerdy than arty but definitely a gamer geek. I guess the"secret" is to know them better than you can get to know them from across the country, sit at a table with them and talk for a couple of hours in person in public or in the company of friends. All the things that are nearly impossible to do from the internet. Part of why I have excepted that this is never going to work for me because of the second hurdle(could I meet them without having to take a day off of work) always end up tripping me up. Not the Whole Truth but the truth that I can see.
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